thankyouforreading. idislikeyouintensely.

earthquake relief effort

2005-10-12T22:37:00.000-05:00

for those of you in cincinnati & surrounding areas -

we're planning a fundraising dinner and supply drive for the victims of the recent earthquake in south asia. we need all the volunteers we can get to assist in these efforts. please join our yahoo group if you're willing to help out in any way! for more info, please visit: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cincy2005earthquakerelief

everyone else -
please donate generously. for a link to aid organizations, click here.

fyi: bloody aftertastes do not diminish the amazingness that is diet vanilla coke

2005-08-15T15:33:00.000-05:00

for inquiring minds, the anesthesiologist was the perfect amount of very cute but not hot. that man was born to do what he does. he completely knocked me out. as i lay there looking like a troll with the world's largest surgical gown and my hair in a shower cap fro, he told me i had beautiful teeth, which made me completely forget that i was moments away from entering into a comatosed state. it was one of the most perfect compliments ive ever received. it was simple, it had nothing to do with the context, it was completely unexpected, and most importantly, there was no motive whatsoever for it. somehow when you receive a completely random compliment moments before surgical tools dig into your face it removes the cheese factor and turns what would otherwise be a generic attempt to cheer someone up into the perfect compliment. anyway, that was my last conscious memory before surgery. if i was a writer i would put that scene into a book. its like a movie in my mind. i even have the perfect background music.

i regained consciousness a few hours later. my post surgery state can be summed up with this:

massive pain, blood, 5 inch nasal packing that felt like it was poking into my brain, bandaged swollen face, pain, the worst sore throat ive ever had (from the tubes they stuff down your throat during surgery), too much medication, pain, bedrest, dizzy spells, im so ugly now moments, tv, suppositories (sorry), flowers, pain, love.

going through severe pain is beneficial in ways though. it gives you time to think about things you need to think about. i needed that blessing.

after the packing came out, there was a world of difference in my ability to ignore the pain. you really do get used to it. my first active day was the day of saima's shower. exhausting but fun. she seemed happy which made it all worth it. yesterday, was picnic day. blah i feel like im writing in caveman sentences. thats probably a signal to end this post. my brain feels like i have salt water sloshing through it. 22222222222222222222222222222

maybe my anesthesiologist will be cute. dont want hot. just cute.

2005-08-05T09:03:00.000-05:00

im leaving for my surgery in a few minutes. scared. dont think. if i end up looking like michael jackson afterwards and never leave my house again (i'm vain), i love you all. everyone one of you. even the weirdo that left that weirdo comment. i love you.

okay, so i have a few more minutes to leave so ill write about something any normal human being would think about minutes before they leave to have surgery. reality tv.

i've discovered that you can tell what kind of day i'm having based on my opinion of reality tv on that given day.

theres some days when i tell people that i never watch reality tv. hah.

theres other days when i vacuously watch some random reality tv show while im arduously contemplating about whether i should eat ice cream or not. my opinion on reality tv gets clouded out by my indecisiveness about whether anyone would really notice if i gained 78 lbs or not. (i usually conclude that no one would notice and go ahead and eat the ice cream.) its hard to form conclusive opinions about important subjects when youre constantly pacing back and forth to the fridge.

sometimes im having a i'm-engaged-in-society political kind of day and i issue fatwas about how reality tv stars do not represent islam or all muslims. then i mail them to thomas friedman.

then theres always a few angry-with-life kind of days where i'll go on a tirade (to myself) about how at least people on reality tv are actually willing to admit to the world that they crave fame and would do anything for money. those are the days when i respect the creative aspect of the sluttiness, bc anyone can go to a good school and get some boring job and marry some hot boring robot with the right pedigree and slut themselves out that way. but it takes creativity and negative brain mass to think that you can skip a few steps, and become audrey hepburn just for being a skanky drama queen with a bunch of people who have nothing better than to eat beef jerky all day. theres always a place in my heart for sheer stupidity. dreams can come true.

gross. why am i talking about reality tv? i dont even watch it.

vote for summer!

2005-07-27T15:56:00.000-05:00

reminder:
theres a special congressional election here in ohio for district 2 (that includes a lot of you cincy subarbanites - dist 2 includes part of hamilton county, warren, clermont, brown, and a few other boofoo counties) on august 2. remember to vote!!!

candidates:
paul hackett (d)
jean schmidt (r) [yuck]

info on the candidates:
today's ny times article on hackett;
citybeat endorsement of hackett ;
enquirer election coverage

and for anyone living in the city of cincinnati, remember the election for mayor is on sept 13. for a list of the candidates, click here.

for general voter/election info in the state of ohio, click here.

to find out where to vote or if youre in the 2nd cong. dist., click here.

All Ears for Tom Cruise, All Eyes on Brad Pitt

2005-07-26T10:43:00.000-05:00

thank you.

maybe i should just apply to be an existentialist detective, get hired, & then get fired for sucking at what i do.

2005-07-25T23:47:00.000-05:00

i am convinced that i have lost at least 85% of any intelligence that i might have once possessed. thats really sad when you consider that even at my peak, my intelligence probably amounted to a microscopic puddle of dribble that came out of a goat's mouth in a petting zoo in lahore during the middle of august. why do i think that i can help anyone with this fellowship project im developing? i feel like puking on myself over and over again. lather. rinse. repeat.

i'm in one of those overly dramatic identity crisis moods again. the timing of my moods is starting to get so predictable that even im starting to get bored by them. but boredom has never catapulted me into productivity before, so of course, ill stay true to my nature and indulge myself with yet another disgusting cry-cry-cry-im-so-useless rant again. deja vu be damned.

i always make myself feel better by reminding myself that at least im not doing something as uninteresting with my life as using my law degree as a means to trade up an ugly ann taylor suit for a thats-so-five-minutes-ago marc jacobs one. (now if the trade up was for anything from chanel's 2005 rtw collection - an uninteresting life would more than make up for it. of course, if i was the type of lawyer who not only could afford karl lagerfield's saliva inducing works of geniusness, but who could also pull off wearing it to work, i wouldnt exist. ugh, shut up. nice, this blog entry is such classic stupidsamar. im dementedly talking to myself in yet another completely unnecessary parenthetical statement AND tangenting on an inane superficial comment that no one else in the universe cares about all at the same time. the previous few sentences define me. if i ever have to send a rishta resume, i'm sending this parenthetical statement. actually, the sick skankness of it all is actually making me kind of like myself again. and for the cherry on top of this superficial sundae, i'm going to let you all know that last year during one of my meditative retreats to tj maxx, i found a gray tahari suit that was missing a price tag that obviously had been mistakenly placed in the clearance section. i know it was a mistake bc i saw similar tahari suits in the non-clearance section. i took it up to the sales person and asked him how much it was and told him i found it in the clearance section. i guess another important part of the story is that i already knew the salesman was a pervy muslim guy due to an earlier typically nauseating immigrant muslimmale in ohio pickup line he had used when i walked in, i.e., "are you a muslim? subhan'allah sister. its so beautiful to see a muslim woman in hijab. only a man she marries should see such heavenly beauty blah blah blah." so i took the gorgeous worldly possession up to the guy and blinked a few times. i was worried i might be overdoing it bc ive been told before that my intentional attempts at being coy make me seem like i have a tick, but the guy ignored the fact that i might possibly have turrets or maybe he just didnt care. such a sweet, sweet man. anyway, he randomly entered $25.99 into the computer and let me buy a gorgeous tahari suit for 25.99. the best part is, i dont feel guilty at all. oops, i forgot that i'm still inside a parenthetical statement. full stop.)

wow, im so off track i completely forget what i was ranting about earlier. hmm maybe my tangents are a self defense mechanism through which i avoid dealing with my insecurities. im so introspective, arent i? gross. i hate people who say "arent i?". perfect. now i hate myself again. ok, so back to my identity crisis of the moment. im starting to wonder whether whoring myself out to my ego by being a pseudo do gooder is worse than whoring myself out to some big firm for 84902340320 hours a week. at least then i wouldnt have the time to worry about the amount of brain cells ive lost.

what if i dont even get this fellowship? or even more disturbing, what if i get it and i start to pretend that i even remotely understand what these women go through? what if my project is reinforcing the same underlying patriarchal notions that theyre supposedly escaping? ahfkljadflsajflafd;jf/. i hate when my mind freezes like this and i feel paralyzed. ok i seriously have to stop. someone give me some vicodin.

oh and speaking of diminishing brain power, good luck to everyone taking the bar in the next few days. a million-zillion prayers and well wishes for everyone who is taking it!!! i just cant wait to feel your hell in february.

the round up for this week

2005-07-21T12:30:00.000-05:00

i watched charlie & the chocolate factory last weekend. its one of the most beautifully delicious movies ive seen in awhile. tim burton is a visual genius. johnny depp is one of the most interesting actors alive today. anyway, it was nice to revert back to being an 8 year old for a little while.

i have a lot of respect for teachers who teach teenagers and actually get them to engage in what theyre learning without slapping them 3 times first. my sincerest apologies to all my sunday school teachers.

for the past week and a half, i have had to wear my ugly nerd glasses for reasons other than sheer lazyness or waking up 3 minutes and 45 seconds before i was supposed to head out the door. this time my excuse for looking like a harry potter reading freak* is because i was scheduled to have lasik eye surgery earlier this week. wearing glasses with hijab is traumatic. its almost as traumatic as wearing the huge grapefruit shaped pink glasses that my mom bought for me in pakistan that i had to wear all throughout middle school. although, i have to admit i kind of loved my ugly glasses too. thats the bipolar in me. sometimes its nice to be an ugly non harry potter reading harry potter look alike. im going to miss wearing my ugly glasses. maybe ill just poke the lenses out and wear them anyway whenever i feel the need to extra ugly myself up.

anyway, back to my adventures in lasik surgery. so i went to the lasik center on monday thinking that the whole procedure would be over in about an hour. little did i know that dilating eye drops are racist against brown people too. the average person who gets lasik only needs 1 set of the dilating eye drops to sufficiently dilate their eyes. i needed 7. keep in mind, that these demented drops BURN. so blah blah blah cry for me blah blah. anyway, so they go ahead and do the rest of the prep stuff, including giving me some vicodin. finally i think im ready to go and they get me in the laser room and the dr tells me that he doesnt like the pictures that the technician took of my eyes before they were dilated so he cant perform the surgery since he needs a picture of my eyes in their pre-dilated state. so he sends me home with insanely dilated eyes and drugged out on vicodin and tells me to come back the next day. also, bc my eyes are extra dilated, he tells me that im not allowed to watch tv, use the computer, read, drive, or be in bright light without these insanely ugly goggles on. lovely. so i basically have to either sleep the whole day or sit in a shadow and come up with my own version of shadow puppet theater. not an entirely bad way to spend a day.

anyway, so i go back the next day, and they get me all ready again, and the dr tells me that my eyes should have gone back to their normal state by then, but theyre still overly dilated and probably wouldnt go back to normal for another 24-48 hours. ecstatic, i couldnt wait to go back home and sit in more shadows. there was one good thing about my crazy eyes though, the insanely clear night vision. that, i would love to keep.

so now im about to leave for round iii at the lasik center. hopefully, i dont come out a vicodin addict with racoon eyes.

*note: i have never read a harry potter book and do not plan on starting anytime soon. thank you, freaks.

neighborhood #1

2005-07-10T22:51:00.000-05:00

it feels as if a trillion years have passed since i last posted. i live in cincinnati now. my life in columbus feels like it belonged to someone else - a pre-oprah show tom cruiseesque type of person.

time out for a 'i'm going to share what i'm actually thinking about right now' moment: for some reason i'm really missing my brother's stupid voices right now. especially the "champion!!!" one. i wish i could turn them into emoticons. i hate the word emoticons so much that i cant stop myself from using it. i have a personal resolution to slip it into my conversations with myself at least once a day. its like vocab workshop all over again. [end of emoticon filled moment.]

anyway, i thought i would hate being back in cincinnati. for the past few yrs i was convinced that there was nothing left for me to do here except to maybe finally learn how to pedal backwards on an elliptical machine for 50 minutes. i seriously thought that if i came back to cincinnati i would develop some insane form of early alzheimers. when i actually did move back home in may, my obnoxiousness hardcore thapred me in the face. reverberation style. i guess i had to move back to actually realize that i dont know anything about this city. i dont even recognize my own street anymore (in a good non-alzheimers kind of way).

being dead wrong has almost always been good for me - especially when it reminds me that if my existence was truly dependent upon my own self awareness, i would probably be swimming in a toilet bowl in topeka, kansas right now. amen for not really being in the driver's seat. and while i'm at it, another amen for the constant comfort of knowing that even if though i might have to endure being stuck in traffic on montgomery road for 473849328498329 minutes, at least i get to read the montgomery baptist church's cheesy quote of the week every time i pass by it. even my demented brain wouldnt be able to put jesus and seat belts together in the same sentence without the help of that road sign. geniusness. i think i might actually learn to love this city.

i think my problem was that in wanting to absorb all i could about everything and everywhere else, i never took the opportunity to really know my own home as an adult. i completely forgot about the way the afternoon sunlight completely changes the colors and sounds in my house. you dont have the time to notice the good stuff on crazy hectic weekend trips. and after 3 yrs of law school, actually having the time to obsess over books is like sleeping in birthday cake. i also forgot what an amazing sanctuary eden park can be. that park has definitely been its own character in my life. im learning that theres ways to connect with old friends that go beyond rehashing all the times that we got kicked out of masjid class. i love so many people here. i cant believe i let myself forget that.

so heres a partial list for my what i did on my summer vaction essay (since this ugly blog entry isnt embarrassing enough already):

1. i forget what happened on memorial day weekend but i remember i had an amazing weekend. oh yeah, we went to mt adams and i tried to convince t$ that she should forget the bar and move in with me instead. i was rejected. i hate lawyers.

2. i fixed our old birdfeeder and got all nerded out about birdseed. i sat in meijer's for 2 hours and read every book on bird food that they had. evil fat squirrels attacked my beautiful birdfeeder. birdfeeder broke. :( so i got a new squirrel-proof birdfeeder and i also made this awesome hummingbird feeder. evil fat squirrels DEsquirrel-proofed new birdfeeder and then broke my hummingbird feeder too. just for fun. :( i tried to squirrel-proof my birdfeeder again. evil fat squirrels broke the branch of the tree it sits on. i put it on a different branch. evil fat squirrels broke that branch too. evil fat squirrels win. for now.

3. i love mono even more now bc i found out that he is is deathly afraid of evil fat squirrels that de squirrel-proof squirrel-proof birdfeeders.

4. researching the warpedness of capital punishment does not reaffirm your faith in humanity. but it has made me remember why i used to want to marry jd salinger. if hes senile, i still might do that. it could work.

5. i need to stop reading everything except what im supposed to be reading. i need to write my proposal. i need to get to the point where im no longer procastinating thinking about writing it but im just procastinating actually writing it. theres a big difference.

6. anytime i hear someone say "ill do my level best" i fall in love again. such an ugly saying. i love british people. t$, i'm so jealous.

7. i got new books. happiness.

8. i have a crush on the old man who works at the costco gas station off fields ertel. you all should check him out. we can co-crush. hes so cool that even i can share.

9. sumbul and the big A's engagement was beautiful. i love them both together so much. if i had known that my sumbulina was going to get engaged to assad a long time ago, i probably wouldnt have minded being smushed into the bus window by nabeel and him every single morning in kindergarten as much.

10. koko, saima, shabeena, and i made up a dance for rashida's mehndi. ahahaha. good times.

11. july 4th weekend was such a blur with rashida's wedding and appna/houston all in one weekend. i cant believe it was only a little over a week ago. i had stick straight hair for an entire weekend!!!!!!!!!! i cant get over it. lina, my hair wants to marry you too now. my mom wants you to become her daughter instead. our salon is waiting. i had such an amazing weekend with all my girls. i love you guys. come back. please.

193. seema did a spur of the moment cincy trip this weekend. i suck at poker. puker. we all went to kings island last night. i love cincy mozlems. no one else understands amusement parks the way we do. and even though i practically lived at kings island when i was younger, i fiiiiiiiiiinally got a stupid kings island picture of all of us for the first time.

195. planning saima's booty shaking bridal shower

196. im substitute teaching masjid sunday school. senior girls level III & jr girls level II. my only definitive conclusion after my first day of class today, im going to home school my kids in a rain forest in new zealand. someone please remind me when the time comes.

201. my goals for the future: actually watching at least one of the movies we say we're going to watch when we hang out, adopt a kid, learn how to fence

THE END. [now no one can complain that i dont update my ugly blog. this should last for the next 7 months to a year.]

champion!!!!!!!!

a whole new world

2005-05-11T13:33:00.000-05:00

Things I've Learned Since 5/5/05 :

1. my laptop needs a janaza. even though it was missing the "T" key, it was good to me. it put up with my abuse for 3 years. i cant even say that about many people. i loved you, laptop.

2. i'm fickle when it comes to love. i cant help but shake my ghettobooty when i think about the new laptop i might get. (sidenote: i love technology, but not as much as you, you see. but i still love techonology.)

3. post 1st-amendment final adrenaline rushes can cause heart attacks.

4. i thought i would completely crash out after my last final, but instead, i stared at my ceiling thinking about how my blood vessells were hurting until lulu and T$ picked me up at 8am.

5. i fall into the category of people who can sleep in a car during a roadtrip.

6. truck drivers are my mehrem.

7. univ of chicago needs random tanning booths placed every 50 feet so people can at least pretend theyve seen the sun before.

8. if i had gone to an ivy for undergrad, i would have been forced to crush on the construction workers.

9. i wish i knew kip so i could crush on him instead.

10. our love is the real thing.

11. eating sushi and looking through a window that only lets you see the shoes of people walking outside is interesting.

12. lulu is cooler than ice cream and pancakes.

13. question for lulu: would you be scared of spider man too? bc i do want you to be at my wedding.

14. i always thought that i liked window shopping at expensive, yuppy stores. i dont. they make me the kind of sleepy where you feel like throwing pancakes and cheap generic syrup at the sales women.

15. i like to shop where drag queens shop.

16. i like lala's new shoes.

17. i am really starting to enjoy the color yellow.

18. diners that leak on your friend's head and have a million pieces of gum stuck to the underside of the table you're sitting at probably arent a good place to host a party.

19. lala definitely has what it takes to be an amazing photographer. she knows how to get up close and really understand her subject, especially when its herself at a hispanic prebsytarian church.

20. greektown does not exist.

21. T$ should look into becoming a professional tour guide when shes taking a break from saving the world.

22. never follow the advice of some people on where to smoke sheesha.

23. i still am in search of my elusive ice cream and pancakes meal. :(

24. i only like people for what theyre wearing.

25. what i learned at the nawawi conference: connect with people or something.

26. i have a new theory about bowling. people would be able to bowl over 45 if the shoes were more attractive.

27. screaming for no reason whatsoever is pure joy.

28. oprah's car has a beeping alarm.

29. sammy sosa rides a vespa.

30. theres no place like devon to stalk a guy in a turquoise shirt carrying a purse.

31. i love the lake but not when its cold.

32. hijabis + karaoke + toddy frog's (i forget the name) = awesomeness.

33. its nice to be in the protection of 3 amazing superheros.

34. some people are so beautifully imperfect - theyre perfect.

35. i am indescribably lucky to have access to good people.

36. intensity is breathtaking.

37. everyone should watch kingdom of heaven.

38. i want a better conscience.

39. i will really miss this place.

40. i need to thank everyone ive loved in my life. i love you all. intensely.

41. music is amazing. again.

salam bombay

2005-05-02T12:01:00.000-05:00

first amendment. take home final from hell. coming soon. i feel like a melting popsicle.

for some reason, even though i havent heard it recently or anything, i cant get the words to karma chameleon out of my head. i wonder if my esteemed 1st A professor ever had a boy george phase. actually, anyone who ever so effortlessly manages to slip in the fact that he clerked for justice blackmun into every 3rd sentence in a conversation about whether target is better than walmart probably had a boy george phase. how else did he manage to turn into such a hero?

anyhow, speaking of heroes/80s pop stars/chronic gender identity confusion:

David Hasselhoff, after accepting the Bollywood Movie Award for international star of the year in a ceremony in Atlantic City over the weekend: "I'm proud of shows like 'Baywatch' and 'Knight Rider' because it's about saving lives, not taking lives. It's entertainment, it's tongue in cheek, it brings the world together. I think it's responsible for a lot of world peace." (Reuters)

bollywood & sexy sexy david hasselhoff. sometimes, the good guys really do win.

i wish i had the guts to ask all the people in this coffee shop to join me in a nice game of telephone.

2005-04-26T23:21:00.000-05:00

i'm taking a break from studying bc i'm starting to scare myself. for the past couple hours, i've been in this groove where i have only been concentrating on copyright law. i am actually registering/comprehending/processing what i am studying. i'm not admiring the color or pattern of the socks i have on. i'm not finding mama dinosaur and baby dinosaur shapes in the potholes i can see on 5th ave. i am not poking mono (my cat) to see whether he is really sleeping or whether he is just making up some new game where he wants me to poke him to see if he is sleeping. anyway, it must have been the shock of relevant and necessary information entering my brain for the first time since i was 7 that mistakenly led me to think for a brief moment that i might actually like this law school studying thing. ???????? thankfully, a few seconds after having that thought i immediately realized that i must stop this groove of comprehension before i turn into a completely different person in the last week of my formal education. so, in order to save the rest of you the time of getting to know a new me, i have decided to return to my usual ADD-ridden flaky self and shake the smart out of me. you're welcome.

URGENT: stop whatever it is that you're doing & take this quiz to find out what random object best represents you.

i am:

You are a drumstick.

Absolutely insane. That is how most would describe you. You aren't afraid to take risks, and enjoy putting yourself in strange situations. Most people hang out with you because of your hilarious sense of humour. You light up any bad situation, and can help all of your friends with their problems, except for your own. Because of this, you enjoy being around people like you. Many shut you out for your very weird, random personality, but honestly, you shouldn't care.

Most compatible with: Guitar, and another drumstick.

Click here - What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self?

maybe i should go back to studying.

i want to be a cat. a sunshiney kitten preferably.

2005-04-26T11:32:00.000-05:00

my cat is smarter than me.

Today's List of Things to Do:

1. Dont buy lucky magazine/Develop own personal style. (by the way, i would vote for the woman who wrote this to take over my brain. she even loves shopping the same way i do. see: "Just in case you think this is one of those diatribes against our consumer culture, written by a person whose possessions total two pairs of shoes, a grass mat and a yogurt-making machine, I need to come clean right now: I love shopping, and I love stuff. I have way more stuff than most New Yorkers I know. New stuff, other people's old stuff: It doesn't really matter. If I see beauty in it, if it thrills or amuses me to look at it, then I want to have it around me. If it's also made with care and attention to detail, showing some evidence of the human touch (or at least human thought), then I'm definitely a goner. Department store, flea market, specialty boutique, eBay -- when I have the money (and sometimes when I don't), I'm out there buying." i like her.)

2. move to laredo, tx.

3. stop looking at lucky magazine with the hope that there will be a pretty editorial page with a small chirpy girl telling me what to wear in order to get that im-a-dedicated-law-student-studying-for-finals-with-great-enthusiasm-&-confidence style./Go back to step one & develop own personal style.

4. study.

other people's brains are my intellectual property.

2005-04-25T12:26:00.000-05:00

i'm not allowing myself to form any thoughts of my own today other than about copyright law. copyright, copyright, copyright. wouldnt it be amazing if i was able to learn something about the nature of copyright law simply by repeating the word over and over? right.

anyway, since i'm doing all of of you and myself a favor by not thinking today, i'm at license to share the thoughts of others and pretend that if i was actually thinking today, these are some of the things i would be thinking about.

MY brilliant non-existent thoughts of the day (in list form):

1.

In form you are the microcosm;
in reality you are the macrocosm.

-Mathnawi [IV, 521] From the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA.

2.
Sexual Revolutionaries -- "Persepolis" author Marjane Satrapi talks about why Iranians don't think sex is sinful, the hypocrisy of American saber-rattling over Iran, and why George Bush and the mullahs are "the same." salon.com

interesting quotes from the interview: [disclaimer: i havent read the book. i also dont agree with everything she says in the interview. but to be fair, i also dont agree with everything that comes out of my own mouth. so this is still a valid MY thought of the day. end of disclaimer.]

"If I have any advice, it's that every day that you wake up, don't say, "This is normal." Every day, wake up with this idea that you have to defend your freedom. Nobody has the right to take from women the right to abortion, nobody has the right to take from homosexuals the right to be homosexual, nobody has the right to stop people laughing, to stop people thinking, to stop people talking.

If I have one message to give to the secular American people, it's that the world is not divided into countries. The world is not divided between East and West. You are American, I am Iranian, we don't know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same."

"They all the time talk about security. Security, security, security. But when you talk about security, then everything is about being safe. And being safe also means having less freedom."

"Democracy, contrary to what they try to tell us, it's not a paper that you hang on the wall and then you have a democracy. Democracy is a social evolution. It is something cultural. Iranians, they have become much more secular, and they are ready for democracy, but they have to fight themselves for democracy, and the only thing that other countries can do is to understand their fight and help them in their fight."
"In Iran, sex is a problem before marriage. After marriage, it's much less of a problem. Here in the West, I very rarely hear older women, 60 or 65, talking about sex. From the moment they have menopause, sex is over for women. In Iran, I think it goes for a longer time."

3. The Guardian has a Special Report on racial dynamics in the UK. An article in the report discusses how a british appellate court recently ruled that use of the word "immigrant" as an insult can amount to proof of racial hostility. interesting stuff.

4.
someone else's [MY] thoughts about the pope. after having gone to two extremely ideologically different catholic schools, its more than apparent that the selection of cardinal ratzinger as the next pope will only further the ever growing divide between the members of the catholic church. the first school i attended viewed vatican ii as a heroic attempt by the church to appease the controversial demands made by some clergy and followers that the church finally acknowledge both modernity and the church's geographical expansion into the third world. i was taught that the correct way to interpret the church's half-hearted doctrinal shift was that it was a door that the church had to open, but that good catholics could not and should not walk through it. the second catholic school i attended was much more non-traditional in its viewpoints (and was interestingly enough, an all female school). there i was taught that vatican ii was a sign of returning to the essential spirit of christianity and that a third vatican council was bound to convene in the not too distant future. my liberal catholic teachers won the battle for my soul. i still cant get over the fact that conclave of cardinals chose pope benedict as their spiritual leader. as a muslim, i can only sympathize with the frustration of many catholics after this pronouncement. going back to what Marjane Satrapi mentioned above, we arent really all that different now, are we?

[okay i somewhat cheated there. im not supposed to be thinking and rambling about my own inane stupid thoughts. STUPID SAMAR. copyright, copyright, copyright.]

5. blogger jlkjf;adkfad dork. blaaaaaaaaaah. blah.

6.

what you waiting
what you waiting
what you waiting
what you waiting
what you waiting for?

[special thanks to gwen stefani & her harajuku girls]

peanut butter and honey spread at brookstone bakery gets two thumbs down

2005-04-24T00:33:00.000-05:00

someone told me yesterday that it was going to snow today. at the time, i found the idea of snow in the middle of april to be really disgusting. i generally find anything that reeks of ohio to be really disgusting. snow in the middle of april reeks of ohio.

i was a witness this morning for a group who had their final trials today for trial practice. i spent most of the morning trying to figure out why i cant decide whether or not i like the franklin county courthouse building. i should have at least made up my mind now considering that i've been in that building 4378 times too many in the past year. it really bothers me that i havent formed an opinion about it yet. my only explanation is that the the architects must have strategically placed spaces where people wouldnt be able to notice anything other than the juvenile delinquents wandering around simply bc they didnt want anyone to ever form an opinion about their building.

later, on my way to cincinnati i started feeling bad about hating on ohio yesterday. i guilted myself into thinking that i loved everything about ohio so much that even the construction on I-71 S is delightful. my guilt only lasted for about 4 minutes though. by the time i reached my parents' house, i had reached a zen master state of mind where i felt like killing 71-S construction, liking the rain, and only slightly hating ohio.

i came to cincinnati so that i could attend an ollllllllllllllllllld friend's engagement party tonight. her fiance and her are perfect together in that really nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich kind of way. i loved it. it never ceases to amaze me how one flawed person can randomly land on another flawed person and somehow they just fit. at the risk of sounding cheesy, its one of the most beautiful signs of God.

oh and i changed my mind about the whole snow in april deal. it does make sense.

almond joy

2005-04-22T21:00:00.000-05:00

i like lists.

1. i'm constantly going through these phases of questioning whether or not i really want to be a lawyer. i found the much needed inspiration i've been missing today. hallelujah, i do want to be a lawyer! heres a quote that i found to be especially poignant: "Police officers also were never able to verify contentions by Ms. Ayala and two relatives that she vomited after spitting out the detached finger. The officers found no vomit at the scene, the affidavit said." el pollo loco, indeed.

2. giving away free food is an amazing way to get people to learn. tammy and i learned that today is earth day. kerry might have won if he gave away free yuppy food to the masses. moral values shmalues. everyone knows that all red staters really want is a good burger. just dont tell them that its made from organically grown tofu.

3. i desperately want emack & bolios to be our new hangout. why didnt this place exist before??? they even have monopoly. im seriously tempted to play connect four against myself instead of studying for copyright. i've had some espn worthy games against myself in the past. hi. im a dork.

4. hi. i'm still a dork.

5. i need to study.

bye.

hello. testing. one-two. 3-4-5-6-7- dont you hate when people say seBen instead of seven?

2005-04-22T15:29:00.000-05:00

i said i would never ever make a blog. i hate blogs. even the word is ugly. blog. blogger. blah.

however, i've decided to embrace the ugly and join the cool kids and blogblogblog my life away. actually, after a night out with my gorgeous girls last nite i realized two things: (1) i'm horrible at keeping in touch with people (ok i already knew that.), and (2) i'm finally leaving columbus and i really need some way for my beoble to know the color of my bajamas and what i ate for cereal on any given day. [note: i did not add the annoying "b"s in front of "beoble" and "bajamas" as a pathetic attempt to add some funnyfunny muslim-comedianesque humor into this rapidly sinking blogocrap. rather, its a pathetic attempt to give a shout out to a special friend who loves men who wear lacostAY cologne.] anyway, so here is my blog. enjoy.

oh, i guess i'm supposed to add in a thought for the day or something. today's thought:

i just sat here for 45 seconds and have no thoughts whatsoever to share. i have to go take my graduation class foto with all my 3L yaars. its my last weekend as a law student. i feel like hootie (from hootie and the blowfish) probably did minutes before he had to tape that new burger king commercial he's in. actually, i'm not sure if his name even is hootie. if his name really isnt hootie, i take back everything i said about feeling the way he probably felt minutes before he taped that burger king commercial. i just cant relate to that feeling if his name happens to be george or marvin or mike. to be perfectly honest, i have no idea how he felt moments before taping that commercial even if his name really is hootie. my brain is full of crap. welcome to my blog.